Mother died today. She had been battling cancer for 2 years now. I was hoping this day would never come. Last week they told us she still had a month to live, but guess it's worse the they thought.
(2 Years Earlier)
Today we found out that mom had cancer. When i heard those words come out of the doctors mouth, I broke down. No one wants to hear those words. The doctors told us they caught it right in time, so hopefully the chemo will help.
Later that night I heard my parents talking. My mom was crying and was telling dad how scared she was. My dad told her that he would take time off of work and we would go do everything she has always wanted to do. I walked in the room crying and gave her a big hug. I didn't want to leave her side. I'm only 8, that's not enough time with my mom. My dad told me that tonight i could sleep with my mom if I wanted to.
To Be Continued........
I really liked this story Mikayla. You showed a lot of emotion in this writing. I can feel the sadness when I read this story. I wonder if the family really did everything she had always wanted too. I wish I knew more!
ReplyDeleteI liked where you took this story it really kept my attention, I wish you had written more, I wonder what would happen if you told more about what the Mom wanted to do before she died.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story. I liked how you went two years earlier and how you said to be continued at the ending, it was different and I liked it. I wonder what your story would have been like if you didn't go back and say two years earlier, like if you just continued in the present. I wish you would have written more because it sounded really good.
ReplyDeleteI think that your is really good. I liked how instead of going later on you went earlier. I wonder what happened between those two years. I wish that you were clearer if you the child was a girl or a boy but i'm pretty sure that it's a girl :). Awesome Job.
ReplyDeleteHi, Mikayla, Like your classmates, I need more information as a reader. I am wondering if your narrator is a boy or a girl. I also wonder if this is how a ten-year-old would talk about his/her mother's death... I think more details would help sustain the attention the compelling beginning creates.
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