I am from dawn dish soap,
from hair spray and makeup.
I am from softball and sunflower seeds.
I am from go to your room
stop fighting,
and leave me alone.
I am from Candyland and Monopoly,
from Modern Warfare and Rock Band.
I am from shut up
and go to bed.
I am from Whales Tale and Echo Lake.
I am from McDonalds
and Dunkin Donuts,
pizza and soda.
I am from do as i say not as i do
and treat others the way you want to be treated.
I am from ribs and chips,
and ice cream on a hot day.
On the walls hang the memories,
telling about the past,
the good and the bad times.
I really like that last stanza you can really picture it. I wish that you had used more detail in describing things, i wonder how that would effect your story if you did put in detail but good job :)
ReplyDeleteI really like the part about the sayings.I wonder and wish you would have made it longer and what else you could add. Good job!
ReplyDeleteMikayla, I really enjoyed the repeating "s" sound in the first stanza: "soap, spray, softball, sunflower seeds, stop"... it gave it a very nice rhythm. Like your classmates, I wonder what would happen if you added more details - like what kinds of ribs - were the coated in sauce? ovenbaked - what flavor ice cream and what does hot mean to you? I wish there was a little more in the final stanza...
ReplyDelete