The coach handed me the ball.
The bat missed the ball.
I threw a strike,
hoping she won't hit the ball.
I focus on the glove,
I hear the fans yelling throw the ball.
As I throw the ball to the glove,
I hear her coach yell hit the ball.
One more strike,
I'm scared to throw the ball.
The crowd is yelling,
Come on Mikayla throw the ball.
I like your poem a lot. I think it came out really good and I give you credit for writing one of these poems because I couldn't, I think they are really hard and I'm impressed with your poem. I wonder what it would have been like if you still wrote about softball but with a different word instead of ball. I wish I could write one of these poems like you!
ReplyDeleteI think you made a good pick with the word ball. I also liked how you wrote that about something that is important to you. I wonder if this was just random or a real memory. I wish I could have read more.
ReplyDeleteI liked this a lot. I don't even like softball but you can tell how focused you are about the game and that you really love it by reading this poem. I wonder what would happen if you wrote one about you being at bat. I wish I could write a poem like this.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Softball was my favorite sport when I could play, and I can definitely picture what it's like. I wish you could've done more about how it felt. I wonder what it's like to be a softball pitcher now.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job on this. I can picture you perfectly standing there getting ready to throw the ball. I wish there was more that I could"ve read, but overall. GOOD JOB(:
ReplyDeleteYou did an awesome job on this ghazal, Mikayla. You can really picture what you're saying and can really imagine it. Your poem has very good rhythm. I wish that you had written more. I wonder what it would be like if you added more detail. Great Job!! :)
ReplyDeleteMikayla, you did a wonderful job on this ghazal! Have you tried any others since then? I agree that the word "ball" was an excellent selection for your refrain. I wonder what would happen if you added more details and description to your stanzas.
ReplyDelete